A paper co-authored by a University of Notre Dame professor shows that moderately disagreeable men earn an average of 18 percent, or $9,772, more than the average of moderately agreeable men.
Both groups of men, though, earn more than the average salary for women — regardless of their workplace disposition. And while women are still lagging behind men in pay, disagreeable women earned 5 percent, or $1,828, over their more pleasant peers.
So I guess the nice guy or girl really does finish last.
It’s obviously not that simple but as a motivational speaker I certainly do get to meet a lot of nice people who spend far too much time being nice and far too little being successful because they are too worried about upsetting people and saying “No”. Here are…
5 tips to stay out of the nice guy / gal trap…
- Know what’s important to you and build your life and business around that.
Don’t try and be everything to everyone. You’ll fail. When you follow your own path some people will love you, some people will hate you and some people will be indifferent. So what?
- Set BIG goals that fire you up and get you motivated.
And then break these down into objectives and actions. Without a plan you’re doomed to fail. You need to know what you should be doing every day to be successful.
- Work your plan.
It’s simple and it’s easy and it’s obvious but when people / things / events distract you, you’re going to get pushed off track unless you say “No”. You need to know why you’re saying “No” and what you’re supposed to be doing instead.
- Stop doing things just to show you’re a “nice” person.
Make a list of all of the things that you currently do for people just to prove you’re a “nice” person. You know, the things that add no value for your business, no value for your clients, no value for your prospects and no value for you. Make a decision to stop doing them and commit to it.
- Manage relationships and expectations.
Work out how you are going to reposition yourself with people and what explanations you are going to give. Think about how you are going to reposition yourself in the future with new clients and staff so that you don’t fall into this trap again.
5.5. Be nice.
Seriously. Be nice. Be nice whilst you’re saying “No”. Be nice whilst you’re not being nice. Be nice whilst you don’t do the things that other nice people do! There’s no need to be rude now is there.
By Gavin Ingham
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